Not for me

Well, I feel just wonderful. My friend told me that I'd die single and a virgin today. Don't mind the virgin so much. I wouldn't mind the single so much if it wasn't for the stupid meanigs behind that. And for all the fucking shit that has happened lately. For him, single is alone. For me, alone is the worst punishment. It's worse than hell.
Now, admittedly, I really doubt I'll ever get a boyfriend. If I do, I'll be surprised. I'm way too much for a tomboy for my own good. Just ask any of my friends. They'll tell you, but I still like the thought, you know? There's still that little part of me that badly wants to be loved. Too bad.
I guess it's because I have issues trusting people. Trusting people with more than a little bit of myself at anyrate. Z-kun was "the guy who tamed Lapri" for a while because he almost had me eating out of the palm of his hand. Then I he hurt me, and I became worse.
Over the course of the year, I have almost completely trusted three (BAKA NUMBER) other men with my heart. They, however, did not want it. Luckily, I was able to snatch myself back before it got too bad. It still hurt like hell, though. I'm no longer on speaking terms with one. The other two were a bit oblivious, so I am still in a great friendship with them. One's even going out with one of my best friend! It's fun to tease her about it.
It's been decided, I guess. Love is not for me. I doubt it ever will be either. I'll always only be a friend to the guys I know. So I'll just have to keep a tigher hold on my emotions. Emotions running amok are dangerous.

Love Is Not For Me

I remember your beautiful face
I recall your kind embrace
Your soft touch
You said you loved me so much
But then you ran away from me

I remember the day we met
It's a day I'll never for get
I had tears in my eyes
Ready to break all earthy ties
But then you stopped me

I can never forget your honey voice
Or when you made that hateful choice
I remember your sweet smell
I never would have damned you to hell
But then you ran away from me

I remember the day we met
It's a day I'll never for get
I had tears in my eyes
Ready to break all earthy ties
But then you stopped me

You broke your promises
You destroyed my heart
You walked away from me
And tore my world apart
I thought I could live in the light
But I need to stay in the dark
There's no place for me out there
No one would care
You proved that

I remember the day we met
It's a day I'll never for get
I had tears in my eyes
Ready to break all earthy ties
But then you stopped me

I thought I loved you
But now I see
Love is not for me

I wrote that a while ago, that's why it sucks. -_- Oh well. It's what I have, and it's true. End of blog.