Just A Moment

Is it bad when you love someone so much it hurts? And then when they seem to return your feelings, all you feel is suspicion and fear? Or is that expected? Complications. I don't know if I'm being used again, or if this guy is for real, and I'm afraid to ask. I want to believe he's for real, but so many people agree on the same thing, and it's disheartening.
They all say he's using me. That he has a girlfriend and I'm just being used. It's hard to take that idea too. I love him so much. I really do.
I know. I know. “How can a 16 year old possibly know what real love is?” Right? Well, that's easy. How does a 5 year old know what love is? They experience it from their parents and siblings. They feel it. So, when a 16 year old feels it for the 3rd time, do you really think that it's false? Or maybe it's for real? How can you know? How do older people know what "real" love is? How can you discriminate?
Real love is something deeply rooted within your heart. It's like a seed that, when given the right nourishment, grows and envelops you in a warmth so great. It's so beautiful too. Like a rose made out of crystal or glass that has gold frosted on the tips of the petals and thorns. It's so fragile that too much force will crush it, but it's so strong that it can withstand time, the elements and ages if carefully kept. Its thorns are sharp enough to slice through your skin like a knife, but the feel of the glass against your skin is so smooth and endearing.
Love is sparklers. Sparklers are when the world stops, then begins spinning again but way too fast. You can't think. Up is down, and down is up. You're backwards and forwards at the same time as a warmth spreads through you, forming a blazing hot trail that then dies down to a gentle tingling that leaves the body cold and shivering. It's not a harsh cold, but a surprising one that you almost welcome. One that brings a smile to your face.
Love is cold
Love is kind
Love is hurt
Love is gentleness
Love is hate
Love is love
Love is.
How the heck do I know all this? How the hell can I say this? Well, three years is a long time to wait, and I'd wait longer too.
You know, the funny thing is, he doesn't even have to return my feelings. Being his friend is good enough, though I'd even settle for less than that. He's been through so much. He hurts, and I know he does. He's such a sweetheart once you're close enough, though. If i could give him only a moment of true happiness. See a true smile on his face, he could hate me if he wanted to. I'd be content.
I want everyone to be happy, but if he was truly happy, that'd probably make me the happiest. Doesn't matter if I was being used, if i'm just a toy, if I end up broken. Just that moment, I'd be happy.

Just a moment
A moment of a smile
A moment of joy
A moment of truth
A moment
Just a moment
A moment of time
A moment in life
A moment
Just a moment