Back Off

Ok, I'm straight. Always have been. I just recently broke up with my first boyfriend, but I have a lot of gay and bi friends. So, let me say something...

BACK THE HELL OFF YOU NARROW MINDED, SELF CENTERED, CONCIETED, SELF RIGHTEOUS, POMPOUS, FALSE RELIGIOUS JERKS!!!

Ok, first off, my friend on this site, Moon aka Joyful Lament, has been getting a lot of crap because she's bi. Back off. You're probably Catholic or Christian, right? Or, at least you say you are. Tell me something, are you actually acting like a Christ-like way right now? Hm? Tell me another thing, Jesus fufilled the scriptures, yes? Did he EVER ONCE mention ANYTHING about homosexuals? No. He didn't. Back. Off. "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." If you don't like that one, try this: "TREAT OTHERS AS YOU WISH TO BE TREATED." or even "WWJD." Hm? Back. Off.
Second, I know there are those out there who aren't religious, so let me get to your human side! I have a guilt trip for all. Ok, so, you're human, aren't you? Well, acting like you are now, I'd have to say you're the lowest scum of the earth. Something that, if I stepped in, I wouldn't even scrape you off my shoe. I'd just throw the shoes away. You're acting like such self righteous twits. I bet you think you're so great. You've stepped on and hurt this girl until she cried just because she's different. Hitler. Nazis. Yeah, that's right. Nazi. You don't like being called one? Well, stop acting like one. I bet you'd like to kill all "fags" and "faries" right? Hitler. Get a life. If you don't like something, don't read it. Back off and stay away.

Headache

I want it to end. I just want it to be over. No more no more no more. I can't stand this anymore. I'm going to go insane. Please, no more. No more people counting on me. No more people waiting for me to send the advice that'll get them out of their probelms. No more people pointing fingers at me because I'm different. No more. Please no more! For once, I want to worry about MY problems. For once, I want to talk about ME... and I feel like a selfish bitch for it.
I feel like I'm being a selfish bitch for wanting to care about ME instead of OTHERS. I want to worry about ME first this time instead of someone else that needs my help because I understand a problem. I feel like such a selfish bitch. I feel rotten for it. I feel like I'm betraying them. I feel... dirty. Wow I'm stupid. It's not even my fault.
What's wrong? Well, I've been backstabbed, mistaken, broken and all around hurt. Two of my friends that are both close to me are fighting. Fun. Not really, but hey. I can be sarcastic. It's one of the few things pointing at my being okay. Then there's the mistaken part. Wow. Think you can be friends with a guy without dragging sex into it. Guess not.
QUESTION!! WHY CAN'T YOU KEEP YOUR BAKA TESTATERONE IN CHECK!?!? Why do you think girls want to be treated like crap? Why do you think that the only thing we want is sex? Is it the dress? I'm not sure, but is it? Of course, that wouldn't make sense. I dress in long pants, a modest t-shirt and usually a hoody or sweatshirt. I hide all I can. So what is it?
Backstabbing... my favorite. Ok, fine. It's not exactly backstabbing... well, yeah... it is. It's more kill the messanger. Picture this: getting anger taken out on you by someone you trusted because you know someone. Because that someone happens to be your BEST FRIEND. Is that backstabbing, kill the messanger, or both?
Make it stop. Please, God, make it stop. I want to stop hurting. I wantit to stop. I just want ti to be over with. No more. No more.

Make it stop
Stop the pain
Stop the lies
Make it stop
Stop the backstabbing
Stop the hurt
Make it stop
Make it end
Make it stop
Make it stop
Stop the tears
Stop the hate
Stop the death
Stop
Just make it stop
Stop
Please make it stop
Please just stop
Please
Make it stop
Make it stop
Make it stop
Make it stop
Make it stop
Make it stop
Make it stop
Make it stop
Make it stop

Yay for Emotional relief!!

Reassurances II

Things'll be just fine
It'll all be okay
People are crazy
And you don't have to solve everything
You're not okay
You're wonderful
And you're not a good friend
You're a great one
You aren't a super hero
And you don't have to be
It's not your fault if you can't save the world
You don't have to
Go ahead and cry
I'll hold you as the tears flow
And it's just fine
Because we all love you
Let the world handle it's own cares
And let the world break
You did your part
And you always will
That's what's important
You don't need the weight of the world on your shoulders
You don't need the pain
Everything'll be just fine
Because we all love you
We all care a lot
And we'll always be there when you need us
Here's your reassurance

Needed to catch up with poems of rantingness...

Bad

My fault
My fault
My fault
My fault

Guilt
Horror
Shame

Bad girl
Bad child
Bad seed

Bad
Bad
Bad

Not good enough
Not smart enough
Not strong enough
Not good enough

Bad
Guilt
Horror
Shame

Bad
Bad
Bad
Bad

Demons and Truth

Screaming demons inside my mind
The truth is getting so hard to find
Help me I'm running out of time
All these liars in their prime
It's so hard to find my way out
Making me want to scream and shout
Help me I'm falling
Can't you hear me calling
Happy this world is not
Things aren't as they ought
With screaming demons inside my mind
The truth is so damn hard to find

Broken Wings

These broken wings won't let me fly
No matter how hard I try
These broken wings won't let me fly
So won't you come and help me
I want to fly away for all to see
Why can't people just let people be

Just Doesn't

Just because I don't say anything
Doesn't mean that I don't have anything to say
Just because I'm silent
Doesn't mean I don't want to scream
Just because I won't reply
Doesn't mean I don't want to
Just because I told a lie
Doesn't mean that I wanted to
Just because I'm not there
Doesn't mean I don't want to be
Just because I avoid you
Doesn't mean that I don't love you
Hidden feelings
Hidden meanings
Hidden words
Hidden swords
Hidden truths
Hidden lies
Hidden worlds
Hidden in the skies
Just because I won't say anything
Doesn't mean I don't want to
Just because I pretend to hate
Doesn't mean that I don't love you
Don't show the emotion
You'll only get hurt
Was what I was told
So I don't show the truth
For fear of more pain
But still more pain I hold
Just because...
Doesn't mean...

Prove

Shunned from the light
Embraced by the night
Don't turn your face away from me
I need to be heard
I need to be seen
Prove to me I'm real

Spinning

My mind is broken
I can't see
My heart is torn
I can't think
I'm breaking
I'm straining under it all
I can't think
I can't see
I can't help it
Please
Make it stop
Make it end
Make it go away
I'm breaking
I don't know how long I can last
I'm gonig insane
Make it stop
Please make it stop
Everything's spinning out of control
Spinning wildly
I can't see
Stop
Please stop